bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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