ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
