We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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