She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
