You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
