Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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