i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
