elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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