holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
