i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
