my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
