hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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