Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
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If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
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I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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