went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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