im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
