This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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