we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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