I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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