I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
