the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
