Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I puked a lego.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
