on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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