But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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