I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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