oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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