No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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