i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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