new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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