god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
