I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
