if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
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