I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
