Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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