I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
