Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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