haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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