I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
