there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
