we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
