Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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