The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Ladies don't puke and tell
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
