she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
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I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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