well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
