i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize