A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize