I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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