you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
