But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
