hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
