Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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