Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
