you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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