I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
