she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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