So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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