she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
