I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
