yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
