are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
