She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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