The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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