I'm gonna have a badass scar
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
