I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
