it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
