Little spoons don't ask big questions
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
