He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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