therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
