Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
