I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
