i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
