The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
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This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
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I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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