sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
my shit smells like andre
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
