A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
hell yes lets make some ravioli
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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