this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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